A Primate’s Guide to the Corporate Jungle

Location: Fluorescent-lit habitat, Floor 23

Species Observed: Homo sapiens corporatus 

Time: Referred to as “Q4”

Entry 1: Strange rituals

In glass-walled enclosures called "meeting rooms," the creatures gather, performing a series of dominance displays using a tools known as “PowerPoints.” All were wearing layers of artificial plumage known as “business casual”.

Key Discovery: These beings possess intestinal neural networks sophisticated enough to manage a hedge fund, yet they persist in prolonging decision making via spreadsheets and rituals involving "touching base."

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Entry 2: The "coffee chat" encounter